Christmas Magic

The van screeched to a halt at the pedestrian crossing and the driver lowered his window, he beamed broadly. He was wearing a Father Christmas hat and 'All I want for Christmas is you' was blaring from the van. The driver called out

'Ladies, please, '

He made a sweeping gesture with his arm to beckon them across the road.. He winked at  Mollie and her curls bounced and shone as she gave a gracious nod and the bells on her reindeer headband shook. Tracey lowered her head feeling herself redden under the gaze of the driver and raised her hand to thank him as they passed in front of the van.

As they neared the kerb a man rushed to help her onto the pavement with the wheelchair. Tracey whispered her thanks and sighed. Being a carer meant everyone assumed she was a good person, only she knew she wasn't. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt good. Probably when she was ten and her Grandma was alive and her Auntie Jo. They were long gone now though and nobody was left who could see any goodness in her. A series of Foster Homes and a spell in an Institution having been caught shoplifting had hardened her heart and made her bad.

  Mollie was turning her head to speak and Tracey leant forward to catch her words,

'Did you see that driver? Wasn't  he handsome? He looked about your age, Tracey.
He reminds me of my Reg when I first met him. Always a one to smile at pretty girls was my Reg. He never tired of letting me know that I was the only one  for him when in private though. I miss my Reg, but I was lucky to have him for so long. He would have loved these antlers you've put on me. Did I tell you about the time ...'

Tracey straightened up and pushed on the wheelchair with her hips. She loved hearing all the stories about Reg but there was a chill wind and she wanted to get Mollie into the warm. they were on their way to the Christmas party in the Community centre. Mollie was the neighbour of one of Tracey's Foster mothers, Briony. She'd come to visit Tracey in the Institution and suggested that when Tracey came out she could train to be a carer.

 Her room mate Chloe had spluttered into her tea when she'd heard,

'You a carer Tracey, They'll be accusing you every time something goes missing. No, there's no hope for the likes of us. We're bad 'uns, give a dog a bad name and all that.'

There was a cold blast of wind and a flurry of snow. Tracey tucked the blanket round Mollie and pulled her scarf closer round, being careful not to ruffle the curls. She had spent all morning preparing Mollie for the party. Setting her hair and ironing her red blouse, shining her shoes and applying red lipstick. It reminded Tracey of playing with her dolls with grandma. They'd both taken so much care dressing and washing the little clothes. At the thought of grandma tears threatened, and she pinched her nose to stop the flow as Chloe had taught her. 'Show 'em you don't care' she'd said, 'That way they can't hurt you.'

As they approached the Community Day Care centre the automatic doors flew open and  a rush of welcoming warm air enveloped them.  Tracey peeled away the layers of warm clothing and then gently drew off Mollie's gloves. The old lady giggled, sounding like the light hearted  girl she must have been,

'Ooh what would Reg say about my nails Tracey? He hated nail varnish, said it was a sign of a loose woman.'

Mollie wriggled her fingers and admired her gold and red nails which sparkled and shone in the light of the Christmas tree in the hall.

A very attractive woman wearing tinsel in her hair came to greet them. She bent to kiss Mollie and held out her hand to Tracey.

'Hello , I'm Elizabeth, the staff nurse here. You must be Tracey, Mollie has  told us so much about you.'

She dropped her voice,

'Well done Tracey, you have made a huge difference to Mollie, it's wonderful to see the light back in her eyes. Please go on through to the party.'

She turned to Mollie and smiled, 'We've got jelly and cup cakes and.. even Father Christmas is going to come.'

An unfamiliar sensation came over Tracey, she looked around half expecting to see Grandma or Auntie Jo. Her eyes met Mollie's and they grinned at each other. Tracey manoeuvred the wheelchair into a corner and went to fill up a plate for Mollie. The little sandwiches, jellies and cakes stirred a memory in Tracey's heart. She remembered holding Grandma's hand and eating things like this and Father Christmas coming and giving her a doll. Grandma and Auntie Jo had told her she was good, a really good girl, the best there was, she was the light of their lives.  She returned to Mollie, her plate laden and knelt down on the floor beside her. She handed her morsels of the sandwiches and wiped the crumbs away, careful not to spoil her lipstick. Mollie's eyes were bright as she looked around the room,

'Reg loved parties, he liked dancing and kicking up his heels. Oh he'd fling me around he would, like a rag doll I was in his arms. We'd spin and twirl and dance the night away. Proper dancing it was, not all this jumping up and down you young people do.'

Elizabeth came up to them and handed them both a glass,

'We're going to have a little toast now. Oh Tracey before I forget Mollie says you have a friend called Chloe and I wondered if she'd like to help us out, maybe in the New Year? Would you like to ask her?'

 She smiled at them both  and moved to the centre of the room.

Tracey couldn't believe it. There were people who wanted her and Chloe to help them. She couldn't wait to tell Chloe, She'd never believe it either, but maybe, just maybe, she could convince her.

Elizabeth went to the centre of the room and clapped her hands, then she rang a little bell.

A hush descended on the room and all eyes turned to Elizabeth.

'There's a visitor now for you and after that we'll have carol singing lead by Tracey over there.'

There was a loud shout of 'HO HO HO' and Father Christmas came into the room. He went round the group leaning down to talk by each chair and handing out a gift from his sack. When he got to Mollie he boomed out,

'Oh HO HO HO' I recognize those antlers'

He handed Mollie a small parcel and then he then turned to Tracey 'And I recognize this little elf with the pretty face,'

Mollie looked up at them, 'It's you, the driver of the van! I never forget a handsome face.'

He beamed down at Mollie,

'I'm Father Christmas' Then he whispered, 'but you can call me Nick.'

Elizabeth was clapping her hands again,

'I'd just like to thank all the volunteers and carers for making this Day Centre such a welcoming and happy place.' She turned to Nick, 'A special thank you to Father Christmas, it just wouldn't be the same without him.'  She cupped her hands round her mouth and said in a loud sage whisper, 'He's really my son.'

There was laughter and clapping, Elizabeth smiled round the room, ' I wish you all a happy Christmas and from all the staff here.'

There was a loud chorus of happy Christmas and thank yous.

Mollie held out her hands, admiring her nails,  Nick bent down to her,

'Mollie please could I borrow Tracey tomorrow afternoon, I need a little helper for the children's ward,' He looked up at Tracey, 'If she agrees of course. Maybe afterwards I could invite her for a glass of mulled wine or hot chocolate.'

Tracey realized she was gripping the handles of the wheelchair and holding her breath.  She looked at Nick and there reflected back at her she saw the little girl she had been, the kind and caring little girl that Grandma and Auntie Jo had loved so much. A weight lifted from her and her world tilted, straightening up its course.

Mollie  put her hand on Tracey's arm, smiling at Nick.

 'You take good care of her, she's my guardian angel.'







'

'

Rosalie's Christmas Angel

There were only a few people left in the park.
Just a couple of families hurrying home to have tea by the Christmas tree and wrap the last presents. A few teenagers wearing reindeer antlers and Father Christmas hats gave some welcome cheer to the gloom. Dusk was already falling even though it was early afternoon.
Rosalie shivered in her thin silky dress and pulled her woollen shrug tighter round her shoulders. Her blonde hair was swept up to reveal her new diamond earrings, an early Christmas present from Tom to wear at his office party.
Rosalie thought how conspicuous she must look and moved to the railing round the lake, huddling over to keep warm. The ducks were swimming around looking for the last of the crumbs that the children had thrown. Rosalie opened her new silver clutch to see if there was anything there. Sometimes she had a small packet of biscuits, an old habit from when the children were small, but there was nothing, just the modern girls' survival kit of lipstick and concealer. Her phone and money were all in the car, along with her keys. She shivered and wiped away a tear. A great sadness wound its withered hand around her heart.

They had driven up to London in good time to beat the holiday traffic to attend the office party. They had argued all the way, as they often did now, about the usual unimportant things, like where to go for New Year and if they should invite his mother to stay.
As they'd parked the car in front of the office Tom's phone rang. He answered it immediately and his tone of voice was bright and cheerful, in sharp contrast to the way he had been speaking to her.

 'O hi Svetlana, yes we're here, just parking, yes she's come too, .'

Rosalie turned on her husband, all the anger and fear of the last few weeks bursting out in a fury.

'Who is this Svetlana? Why do you speak to her in such a seductive way? Don't deny it Tom, I know it's wrong but I couldn't help looking at your phone, so many calls and texts from Svetlana, it's me or her. You're never at home and I feel so lonely now the children are at uni, and dad's not here anymore.'

She paused, Tom wasn't even looking at her. Anger swept over her and she grabbed the door handle.

'I'm not going to the party.'

Rosalie flung herself out of the car and slammed the door. She didn't see the look of astonishment on Tom's face as she ran towards the park. She ran as fast as she could on her high heels. She didn't hear him slam the car door and call after her, she just ran until her heart beat so fast it covered up the feelings of anger and resentment.

 Rosalie leant on the railing and watched the ducks swimming towards her. Their slow graceful movements calmed her down and her heart stopped racing.
She thought the male ducks looked like Tom, all groomed and aware of how attractive they were next to their female companions. Rosalie felt like the female ducks, brown and plain. There was the sound of someone coughing behind her.

Rosalie turned to the bench and noticed a well-built unshaven man sitting there and looking at her. He stood up and joined her at the railing. Underneath his beard, moustache and fuzzy eyebrows she could see his eyes twinkling, they were a soft brown and she couldn't help smiling at him.
When he spoke his voice was low and gentle.

 'We can learn a lot by looking at the ducks. Look at that one, I call her Tonya, and that black one with the white crest, he is Boris, and the beautiful mallard is Karl. They were the names of my brothers and sister, it is like having them here with me.'

He spoke with a heavy accent, Rosalie guessed Eastern European. Close up she could see that beneath his worn overcoat he wasn't well built at all, but thickly padded with newspaper. He smiled at her and she saw the humour and warmth that must have been such a part of him. His face was covered with wrinkles and laughter lines. It was like staring into a rich happy past.

Rosalie turned towards the ducks.

 'I was just thinking how funny that nature makes the male more attractive. In humans the man seems to get more attractive as the years go by but women lose their ability to attract as they reach my age.'

She sighed and  put her hand on her cheek. The man smiled at her.

'You are a beautiful woman, any man would be lucky to have you. But aren't you getting cold ? Why are you on your own in the park now?'

Some instinct told her to trust the man and she found herself pouring out her worries.
She told him about the children going to uni, her sister living in Australia, her husband being made director of his company and always coming home late, her job as a teacher in the local primary school which she had had to leave to look after her father and how hard it was to see him grow frail and old, and howall romance seemed to have dwindled away from her life. She felt lost and lonely.

 'And then in the Summer my father died and this will be the first Christmas without him..'

 Rosalie stopped in mid-sentence, her words hanging in the air. She felt so ashamed of herself. Here she was moaning on and on to this poor man who probably hadn't got a home to go to and was going to sleep on this bench. She put out her hand and touched him on the arm, but he just smiled at her and nodded.

 'I understand all this, you are still in love with your husband and that is good, that is why you feel this jealousy, and of course you miss your father, that is life. We are always missing the ones we love' he paused, 'or hurting them.'

 He coughed and doubled over. A look of great pain crossed his face.

 'But come we must get you warm, where are you going?'

 Rosalie let him lead her across the park to where the car was parked.

 'I haven't got the keys though,' she shivered and her teeth started to chatter violently.

 There was a flash of silver as he took something from his pocket, it looked like a razor blade, and then the door was open.

Rosalie laughed, 'Wow! How did you do that?'

The man smiled and tapped his nose.

Rosalie got into the passenger seat and felt for her bag, she took out all the money she had and the box of cough sweets from the glove compartment. She thrust them at the man who tried to back away.

He shook his head,

 'No no, kindness is free,' but she was too quick for him and buried them deep in his pocket.
Then she hugged him and whispered her thanks. He walked away and she raised her hand in farewell as he lifted his cap and disappeared into the misty park. She realized someone was calling her name.

 She looked up and saw Tom running towards her.

'Rosalie, where did you go? I've been searching for you everywhere, I've been so worried. You must be freezing. What were you saying in the car? I couldn't understand a word you said, I was wearing my headphones. What's happened?'

Never had she seen Tom so shaken up, he looked like he'd been crying. She almost laughed.

 'Nothing Tom, I just said I love you, that's all. I'm so proud of you and I'm looking forward to meeting Svetlana.'

Tom let out an enormous sigh,

'What a relief! Svetlana will be retiring at Christmas, she's going home to Poland. She's invited us all for New Year's Eve, apparently this time of year is amazing in Poland, all mulled wine and markets. It will be just what you need to cheer you up after your...' his voice dwindled away as he searched for words.

 She put her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her. She held his hand tight as they walked into the party.
Rosalie thought about what her father had whispered to her
'I'll always be looking out for you Rosalie my darling daughter, I'll ask if I can come back as your guardian angel.'

She looked back towards the park and blew a kiss into the evening air.

Bitter Sweet Good Deeds

The classroom was stuffy and Samantha felt a trickle of sweat move down her neck. She took out a tissue from her pocket and gently dabbed it away and then smoothed down her hair. It felt so soft and silky tied back in a neat bow. She was very proud of her hair and spent a lot of time keeping it smooth and flat. She straightened her shoulders and touched her deportment badge, stroking it with her fingers. She was so proud of it. She was always so careful about her appearance, repeatedly checking herself in the hall mirror on the way out of the house every morning

 'You are impeccable Samantha,'  Miss Bryant had praised her when telling  her  that she had won the smartest pupil of the year. Samantha had rolled the word 'impeccable' around her mouth. She liked it, she was impeccable.
She straightened the papers on her desk and placed her pencil alongside. She breathed deeply and relaxed her shoulders.

A gust of wind blew open one of the windows and there was a loud bang and an acute scraping noise. Poppy Dobbs burst into laughter and rushed to close it. A blast of air came in and ruffled Poppy's hair. She ran her hands through it and it stuck up in a curly mass around her head.

Samantha thought that Poppy looked ridiculous. She thought everything about Poppy was ridiculous, starting from her name. How could anyone take her seriously? Then there was her loud laugh, to Samantha's ears it was coarse and vulgar, not to mention her appearance. Her tights were always laddered and her hair was a complete mess.

Poppy slid back into her seat, giggling and leant towards her friend Chloe Coleman to whisper something in her ear. Chloe turned abruptly causing them to bump heads and the pair collapsed in a fit of giggles.

Miss Bryant looked up from the book she had been reading from and frowned.

'That's enough Poppy, please try and concentrate.' She stood up and her gaze swept round the room, landing on Samantha.

'Try and learn from Samantha. By the way tomorrow at the prize - giving the prefects will be announced.'

The bell rang and Poppy and Chloe scarped back their chairs, Miss Bryant shook her head and smiled at Samantha.

'Congratulations on your best pupil award Samantha, you deserve it. I hope you're ready for tomorrow.'

There was such kindness in the teacher's voice and something else that made Samantha falter nearly dropping her books.

She replied stiffly, 'Thank you Miss Bryant, I do my best.'

As she walked out of the school gates Samantha checked the shopping list that her mother had written for her.There were all the ingredients for the cakes she made for the neighbours. Samantha's mother was always doing good deeds, dropping money into boxes all along the High Street, asking couples if they would like their photos taken together because it was so more romantic, helping out in the old people's home at Christmas, and making cakes for the neighbours.
Last week Samantha had taken a cake round to their neighbour, Mrs.Green who was recently widowed and used a walking frame. As she had handed her the cake the old lady had grabbed her arm and Samantha had cried out in pain.
Mrs.Green had put her hand to her mouth and stepped back, 'Oh I'm so sorry dear, don't know my own strength.'

When Samantha arrived at the supermarket there was a crowd from her school standing around outside, laughing and chatting. As she walked past them one of them called out, 'Hey Samantha, we'll have to watch ourselves when you're a prefect.'

It was Matt Kingsley from the year above, stocky and handsome. She felt herself redden and a warm feeling went through her to think he had noticed her.
Inside she could see Poppy and Chloe. They were standing in front of the bath products and sniffing the deodorants, giggling and  putting them back haphazardly on the shelves. They caught sight of her and moved away, giggling. Samantha had a vision of herself giving them detention when she was a prefect. She took a basket and ticked off the list as she went along. When she got to the deodorants she reached out to put them back into neat lines. Someone jogged her arm and she fell forward. She turned round to see Matt grinning at her, 'Sorry Sammy, didn't see you.' He winked, 'The white musk is very sexy.'
He walked away and she stared after him, flustered and hot. He'd called her 'Sammy', it sounded much friendlier than Samantha, she felt her heart give a little lift.

At the cash desk she took out her shopping and laid it on the counter. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Poppy and Chloe flicking through the magazines, giggling and whispering. She looked at the shop assistant putting disapproval on her face and sucked in her lip, she was rewarded with an eye roll from him..

She was about to walk out of the store when a firm hand gripped her shoulder. She turned round and felt a chill as she realized it was a security guard, glaring at her and almost shoving her back into the shop.
'Come on young lady, let's see what you've got in your bag.'

She watched him rifle through her shopping and then her school bag in total horror and disbelief. It must be a spot check, but how humiliating, she felt her blood run cold and was rooted to the spot. Her head started spinning when the security guard pulled out a deodorant and held in front of her, a triumphant expression on his face. His face was stern, 'Ahh, like white musk do you?' Wildly she looked sround to see if Matt was there, he would vouch for her surely. She felt sick and caught sight of him, smirking and moving away.

'You'd better come with me miss to talk to the manager.'

Just then a loud strong voice rang out,

'There's a mistake, she didn't put that deodorant there. Chloe and I were testing them and we must have knocked it into her bag. Samantha would never do that, she's the most upright person I know.'

The security guard turned round to see who was talking.

'Oh it's you Poppy. Well if you say so, that puts things in a different light. We'll let it go this time.'

He turned to Samantha, 'We'll let it go this time, but I know your face young lady and I'll be keeping an eye on you.'

Samantha felt faint and her head was spinning. Poppy and Chloe came over and put their arms round her, Chloe took her shopping bag abd they marched her out of the supermarket right into the coffee bar next door.
She felt like a robot as they sat her down and went to order the drinks.

As she was waiting in the queue Poppy kept glancing at her and smiling. Poppy felt a lump in her throat. She'd always thought Samantha was a bit scary but last week she'd overheard her Nan talking to her friend Barbara Bryant. She'd been telling her how worried she was about the girl next door, Poppy's age. There was much shouting and yelling from that house at all hours and lately she'd heard the girl crying at night. The mother was always making cakes for everyone and at first it seemed like a kind gesture but now Barbara suspected it was a cover up.

Poppy and Chloe took the coffees across to the table and sat down close to Samantha.

Poppy put her hand on Samantha's arm, Chloe held her hand.

Poppy and Chloe put their heads close to Samantha's as her shoulders shook and tears fell dropping into her coffee cup.

'Hey Sammy what about coming round to my house for tea? You can ask your mum, my dad will take you home.'

Contrasts

The tour guide's voice woke Lindy up with a start. She had been sitting on the sunny side of the coach and felt the sweat trickling down her neck. She looked across at Ben who had gone to sit on the shady side when they'd stopped for lunch.

The tour guide, Giulio, was a handsome young man with short dark curly hair and a golden tan. His eyes were a surprisingly bright shade of blue. A glamorous older lady, an American with close-cropped red hair and bright turquoise dangly earrings had remarked on them earlier. Giulio had beamed at her, his teeth white and dazzling in his suntanned face, his accent when he spoke English was what her mum would have described as 'charming.'

'Many Sicilians have blue eyes, it is because of the Norman invasion, you will find many with red hair too. We have been invaded by so many different people that you will find characteristics from many races here, in our looks and in our cooking.'

Ben was standing up and leaning up to get his bag from the overhead locker. His forearms were bright red and when he stretched up his upper arms gleamed bright white. Lindy sighed, she'd given up trying to make him put on suntan lotion

Everyone was herding to the front of the coach in a rush to get off. Giulio held up his hand,

'You have two hours free now to visit this town and I will be in this square for anyone who needs assistance. I have already pointed out the main attractions, for those interested in history there is plenty here. For others that just want to browse the shops or sit in a café and people watch, you are spoiled for choice. It's what Italians do best. Don't forget to try the granita, it will cool you down and is delicious.'

Lindy blinked as she alighted from the coach. The light was dazzling. She reached in her bag for her sunglasses and plonked her sunhat on her head. Ben appeared beside her, puffing and squinting, his face screwed up. He wiped away the sweat from his face with a much used tissue,

'I had no idea it was going to be this hot. I feel like I'm getting out of a fridge and in to an oven all the time.'

 He scratched his arm vigorously, red angry spots appeared,

 'and all these mosquitoes, it's unbearable. Let's look for somewhere to sit until it's time to get back on the coach.'

'Good idea,' Lindy shrugged, 'Maybe we can try the granita Giulio mentioned. In my guide book it says the almond flavour is best.'

 Ben groaned and tried to scratch his back , wincing at the pain,

'It sounds horrible, I'd do anything for a nice cool beer, I'm fed up with all this wine and the coffee is so strong it's really upset my insides.'

Lindy rolled her eyes, Ben did nothing but moan. It had been her idea to go on a tour of Sicily. Ben had always loved archeology and Roman history and she'd imagined long discussions about how digging the earth could unlock secrets from the past and Greek and Roman history.

They both looked round the square, the coach had gone and so had all the other tourists. The light was really blinding. The buildings were all painted brilliant white and the sky was a deep cobalt blue, not a cloud in sight.

Over in the corner of the square were some tables and chairs and behind them the dark entrance to a cafè. Giulio was standing outside and as Ben and Lindy watched  a  girl came up to him and
kissed him on both cheeks. The girl had long glossy chestnut hair which flowed in curls down her back. She was wearing a white linen dress and silver sandals which glittered in the sunlight. Giulio said something to her  and she threw her head back and laughed then they both disappeared into the darkness of the cafè.

Ben turned abruptly away from Lindy,

'I'm going in there. You do what you want.'

As she watched him walk away Lindy thought that maybe he needed a bit of space, she had been fussing over him so much lately. She was so worried about him but maybe a bit of time apart would be good for him.
 Giulio had told them about the church in the square and she walked up the steps to the entrance.
 For a while she couldn't make out anything inside the church after the blinding light of the square but then she saw a figure coming towards her, a man, about seventy ish at a guess, with a mop of curly hair tinged with grey, and a very kind smile.

'Are you English? Are you from Giulio's tour group?' He held out his hand. 'My name is Ezio. I am the guide of this beautiful church.' There was pride and love in his voice.

Lindy gaped at him, 'Your English is perfect, I feel so ashamed that I know no Italian, only a few basic words, grazie, ciao, per favore.'

Ezio winked at her, 'That is a good start, they are very important words. Please, thank you, hello, and of course don't forget the most beautiful ones of all, Ti voglio bene, I care for you,Ti amo, I love you.'

Lindy felt herself blush and was thankful for the darkness of the church.

'Come, ' he beckoned.

' I will tell you the history of this church. By the way my English is good because my wife is from Finland, we met a long time ago, it's a long story, but I can tell you it was much easier for us to speak to each other in English. Finnish is.. let's say very difficult.'

They walked round the church and Lindy listened spellbound as Ezio recounted story after story of the history of the town, the people and the church. with passion and enthusiasm in every word. As they returned to the entrance he stopped in front of a large glass case and put in a coin. The case was lit up to show a huge statue of a lady on a horse, brandishing a sword.

 Ezio waved his hand with a flourish as though about to bow.

'This is our pride and joy. She is our protector.'

He paused and turned to Lindy, his eyes golden brown in the light from the glass case.

'What do you notice about her.?'

Lindy stepped forward and peered at the statue.  It reminded her of someone, it was the hair, the long glossy curls. She bit her lip concentrating. It was  the girl outside the cafè. The one who she had seen kissing Giulio.

She turned to Ezio, smiling,

'She has real hair.'

Ezio beamed back,

' Exactly. She is the only one in the whole world. The local girls donated their hair to the statue. Let me tell you now about our annual celebration when we take out the statue and parade around the streets. First of all a hairdresser comes to prepare the hair , putting in curlers to enhance the beautiful flowing locks.'


When Ezio had finished telling her about the parade he gave her a card and a picture of the statue. She tucked it in her purse and discretely made a donation. She looked back at the statue. She felt lighter somehow, she wanted to laugh. She practically danced outside and down the church steps.

The square was transformed, the sun had gone behind the buildings and it was in shadow. Children were running around and playing, Groups of young people were standing together chatting and eating ice cream, a band of musicians was playing in the corner and all the tables and chairs of the cafè were occupied. She looked across to see if Ben was there . He was sitting at one of the tables with the girl who had kissed Giulio. She watched in amazement as the girl  tossed back her hair and slowly rubbed some ointment on Ben's sunburnt arms, gazing into his eyes in what could only be described as tenderly. Ben was gazing back, spellbound. Even from a distance she could tell he was more relaxed, his face was radiant. His hand was on the girl's arm. Lindy stepped towards them and when Ben saw her he leaped up,

'Oh there you are Lindy, you'll never guess, there was a football match on a big screen inside the bar and I've had a great time and the lads here are so warm and friendly and they even have craft beer, and I.. '. he looked down at the girl, 'I met Serena here and she's Giulio's sister and she's going to do a PHD in Archeology in Oxford and I'm going to take her round and show her my college.' he laughed at himself then, 'I don't know what's got into me, sorry.'

A great feeling of relief swept over Lindy. She had been so afraid for her brother, she sometimes had thought she'd never hear him laugh again. Since his wife had left him things had been really bad and  the doctor was talking about severe depression and making sure he wasn't left alone. She 'd been pinning so much hope on this holiday and now here in this town full of contrasts, of bright blinding light and dark interiors and shadows something good had happened, something that was centuries old had shifted the darkness from their lives.

She looked back up to the church, Ezio was standing at the top of the steps . He waved and she waved back.

Words that can cause wounds

The cafè was full and Valerie had to struggle to manoeuvre the pushchair. She picked up Lily, her little granddaughter and gently placed her into the one remaining highchair. A young waitress came, over took their order and handed Valerie the toddler pack. Lily was soon scribbling away with all the colours she could use and then held up the drawing for Valerie to admire, her face alight with pride in her achievement, her beautiful dark  eyes sparkling with delight,

'Look Nana I'm an artist, you can put it on your kitchen wall.'

Valerie smiled back and carefully tucked a strand of Lily's curly hair back under her unicorn hairband.

'It's beautiful Lily, it will bring the sunshine into my kitchen with all those beautiful colours.'

She looked more closely at the drawing, it was indeed a perfect mix of colours, the blues and greens mingling together and then a huge bright yellow sun in the corner, its rays reaching into all the corners of the paper.

She strapped Lily back into the buggy and turned into the High Street.
A new art gallery had opened up and she slowed down in front of the window. She drew in her breath sharply, a deep pain going straight to her heart and felt faint as she saw the huge banner fluttering across the bay window, ' Art's a Tart'. She felt her cheeks redden and her heart beat furiously.
She looked down at Lily who was clutching her teddy and totally unaware of her grandmother's turmoil. It was that word 'tart', it still had the power to hurt her even after all these years.

 The memory of that summer so many years ago came back with a vengeance, the most wonderful summer of her life. She'd been studying Art at the local college, just seventeen, saving up money to have driving lessons, happy living at home with her mum and dad and brother and in no hurry to leave like her friends. It had been such a hot summer. It had caused a sort of euphoria to descend. He had been working at the local pub, working his way through college. The moment she saw him she was lost. She'd gone in to meet her dad for a quick drink on the way home.
The young man behind the bar smiled as he took their orders. She'd watched his strong arms pick up the glass and the way he held it and tipped it so the froth crept up the sides and formed a perfect layer on top. The way he'd smiled at her as he handed her the drinks, the way his hair curled over his collar, the way the cuffs of his shirt showed strong wrists with a light covering of blond hair, the way his top button was undone  and the way he smelt as he came closer. Even now the memory of that first sight of him made her feel weak with longing. He'd asked her out there and then and her dad had grinned and smiled his approval. He 'd turned to his friend Dennis and shrugged.

'Bees round a honeypot eh.'

Then followed two magical months. The sun shone all the time, the birds sang, their skin turned golden, his eyes shone even more blue, they went on picnics, just a bottle of orange juice, bread, cheese and plums, laying their rug under the shade of the willow trees near the stream, afterwards they would go to the village shop for an ice cream and sit outside talking and talking and just drinking in the sight of each other. Who could have imagined it would end like it did.


The door of the art gallery was open and a young girl who was sitting there came out and looked at her with concern.

'Are you alright? Would you like a glass of water? You look like you've seen a ghost.'

Valerie clutched the handles of the buggy and tried to smile her thanks.


'It's nothing, thank you for asking. Is there a painting exhibition on?

The young girl held out her hand,

'I'm Emma and this is my uncle's exhibition, well great uncle really but he doesn't like me to say that too much. He's really a photographer but then I suppose that is art too.
Of course it is, he'd be really cross if he heard me doubt it. Come on in, I'll get you a cool drink and you can look around.'

Emma bent down to help lift the buggy up the step into the shop and smiled at Lily
who smiled back and held out her teddy,

'This is Teddy he's my friend, he sleeps with me every night and stops bad things coming into my room. I'm nearly four. Here's my drawing, Nana says I'm an artist, would you like one.'

Emma threw her head back and laughed.

'I love the way children are so generous with their art. Just think of the art world and what paintings can be worth and here's a beautiful one for free, and look at it, it's just so full of joy and happiness.'

She turned to Valerie,

'Are you feeling better now? Would you like to look round?'

For a moment Valerie had forgotten and then she looked at the banner again,

'But why is it called 'Art's a tart?'

Emma shrugged her shoulders,

'You can ask my uncle, he'll be along in a minute. Go through that black curtain to look around the exhibition.'

Valerie hesitated, then looking straight at Emma, spoke clearly,

'It's just that I hate that word. It might sound stupid now, things have changed so much, but when my dad found out I was sleeping with my boyfriend that's what he called me and it was a knife going through my heart and it's stayed there ever since.'

She could see that Emma was surprised and confused but she looked so caring that Valerie continued, trying to make sense herself of how her life had turned out.

' My dad told him never to darken our door again and that was that, I never saw him, and now, now,  now I have a granddaughter..'

Her voice trailed off, it sounded like she was belittling her life, demeaning it somehow, it didn't seem fair on Lily. She bent down and spoke softly to the little girl,

'We'll quickly look at these photographs then go home for tea' ok?

Lily nodded and they passed through the curtain.

It was like a blinding flash of joy, a hurricane of warm feelings,  a tornado  of emotions, a dazzling display of all that was good in her, of all the wonderful possibilities that had been there all those years ago, of everything that had been within her, in the very depths of her, waiting to blossom and to yield and then had been stunted and cropped. All around the room were photographs of everything that she had ever loved, of everything that she could love and everything that she had hoped and dreamed of becoming. There were photographs of the fields and woods around her home, in all the seasons displaying their full richness and promise, the flowers and trees, the hedgerows, the corn fields, the cathedral like woods in the Autumn, the streams, the blackberry lanes, everything that had been a part of her and there in the distance was a cottage and children were playing in the garden and the sky was all the colours of her soul, that's it, she knew then and turned round as the curtain was pulled back and light came in. Silhouetted against the light, the years fell away, the shoulders, the arms, the shape of his head the movements were unchanged, time had cherished him as she had in her heart.

Emma stepped into the room, sensing something, an electricity, a warmth, she looked from one to the other and then turned to her uncle,

'This lady wants to know why Art's a tart.'

He stepped forward and opened his arms,

'Art's generous, warm, giving, life enhancing, alive…

Lily clapped her hands, "I love jam tarts!".

An old fashioned moral tale

Evil squeezed a few drops of venom onto the assembled company and then lay back with his hands behind his head and a contented smile on his face. It was one of his favourite situations: a dinner party. People sitting round a table and trying to pretend they were all right. He sighed with satisfaction. All his best friends were there, Envy and Jealousy, Pride and Vanity, Resentment and Bitterness, Hate and Indifference. Greed hadn't come this evening. He'd gone to a  land dispute meeting with Anger and Sloth. Evil squeezed a few more drops over Hate. He'd had a bit of trouble with him lately. He'd been getting close to that idiot Passion and Evil knew that when that happened his feared enemy, Love, was never far away. He looked fondly at Pride and Vanity. They were looking so young these days with all the plastic surgery and the boom in the obsession for beauty. Envy was giving them a hand. Evil sighed and looked proudly at Indifference, who was going from strength to strength and sometimes overtaking Hate. Evil was amazed by the renewed power of Indifference.
 A gust of warmth and sweet air caused Evil to sit up abruptly. He relaxed immediately when he saw it was only Compassion trying to pull up a chair next to Bitterness. He wasn't afraid of Compassion, Pride always managed to sort him out. He listened idly to the conversation. Resentment was telling Jealousy all about his miserable childhood. Compassion tried to join in but then Bitterness caught his attention. Evil always enjoyed listening to conversations about miserable childhoods, cruel parents and jealous siblings. He often felt his finest work was done there. All those people dragging their childhood grievances through their lives like a ball and chain. He also got great satisfaction from all the marriage break-ups around. Love went to all that hard work to get a couple together and they'd go off down the aisle looking at each other in a soppy way and making ridiculous promises. Evil only had to wait until Love was busy doing something else and then let Jealousy sidle in. He would then open the door for Bitterness and Resentment, before long they were joined by Hate who took over completely. Evil nearly lost his balance as Kindness came in and moved round the table trying to get some attention. Evil was pleased to see that no-one was taking any notice of her. Weak ineffectual creature with all her silly ways, offering lifts and dropping coins in boxes, making cakes and listening to long boring complaints and being nice. Hope and Faith came in together as always. They were useless too. All it needed was a little earthquake or a flood and off they'd scuttle. Evil looked at his friends with pride, pleased with himself. Then there was a blinding flash that threw him right off balance. He was dazzled by the brilliance and the light that sparkled around him. He glimpsed a white cloak covered in thousands of bright diamonds, a rich velvet trim and a softness that even tempted him to wrap himself in their folds. He hadn't been expecting this. It was his arch enemy Love. She started to envelop the creatures one by one, soothing their brows, holding their hands. There was a burst of nervous laughter from Envy. Hate was looking at her in awe and what looked suspiciously like adoration. Evil desperately tried to sprinkle more drops of venom but it was no use. There was nothing left. Bitterness and Resentment rushed away together looking ashamed and rather ridiculous. Pride and Vanity looked old and tired. The others followed and Evil faded away. Love looked at Kindness and Compassion, Hope and Faith.   'I'm sorry I took so long,I've been very busy this evening. Thank  you for holding on.'

Compassion looked down, shame-faced,' I'm  no good on my own. I can't do anything without you.'

Love put her arm round him 'No- one can. We all need each other.'

Starting from Scratch

The supermarket was crowded with Friday night shoppers. Cynthia had always done her weekly shop on Tuesday mornings, believing that was when the food was freshest, after the weekend rush and the Monday leftovers.

Cynthia couldn't help noticing all the men in suits holding little  baskets and studying the ready prepared meals on display.

She fought back the urge to call out and invite them all round to her house and watch them tuck in to one of her famous casseroles with baked potatoes followed by a choice of desserts. Her mother had constantly repeated that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and Cynthia had believed her. It had worked for her father. It hadn't worked with Max though. After years and years of wolfing down Cynthia's roast dinners, casseroles, fish pies, pork pies, Coronation chicken just to name a few, it turned out that the way to his heart followed a trail of short skirts and boob tubes.
At least he'd waited until their daughter Louise had finished uni and got a job. At first she'd been very upset and angry, telling her parents her whole childhood seemed a lie.
Lately she had become very philosophical about it, she'd taken a course about mindfulness, linked to her psychology degree.

Last week Louise had come round with a bottle of Prosecco and sat Cynthia down in the garden. She looked her mother in the eyes and clinked her glass.

'Mum I love you and dad very much and you've been great parents, but maybe you weren't bringing out the best in each other. Maybe there is a whole new world for you out there.'

It still hurt so much, the memory of that day when Max had told her about Mandy being the one. Cynthia had always thought she was the one. Looking back she could see that Louise had a point and the signs had been there all along.

She sighed and pushed on the trolley with her hips, one after the other, just like the Belly dancer teacher, Mina, had demonstrated..
She felt ridiculous and hoped nobody had noticed her attempt at a shimmy. The belly dance lessons were a gift from Louise along with a Thai cooking course.
 It was an attempt to try and give her back her confidence, get to know her body and bring to life the inner creative woman within, to urge her to broaden her horizons.
Cynthia felt her heart swell with love for her daughter, somehow she seemed more like a mother at the moment, their roles had crossed over.

She glanced up at her reflection in the mirror above the yoghurts. Mina had told her to walk with her head held high, her shoulders pulled up and back and to move her legs from the hips. Cynthia looked around to make sure nobody was watching and tried doing the Camel, a move that Mina said would awaken the female creative side. She giggled to herself as she swayed and shimmied against the handle of the trolley. She began to think that English women had a rough deal with all that Morris Dancing they were taught at school. She added some fresh herbs to her trolley and some garlic.
She moved over to the fish counter. Louise was coming for dinner on her way home from work and Cynthia wanted to impress her with a new recipe for Thai Prawn curry.
She ticked off the ingredients from her list, garlic, chilies, limes, coconut milk, limes. Barbara, the teacher had told them that the art of Thai cooking is about combining ingredients at the opposite end of the flavour spectrum and balancing them to create vibrantly flavoured food. the idea was to aim for an explosion of salty, sweet, sour and spicy flavours that sparkle with personality yet harmonize on the plate. Cynthia had written it all down in her notebook and thinking about it now it seemed like a recipe for marriage, or life, or just about anything.

 A voice behind her made her jump.

'Excuse me, are you Louise's mother?',

Cynthia looked up into the most handsome, kind face she had ever seen. He had the warmest brown eyes, just like his voice. She realized she was gaping at him, her voice came out in a croak,

'Yes, I am.'

He held out his hand and smiled, his eyes crinkling with humour and charm,

'Sorry if I startled you. It's just that you look so alike. The same beautiful red hair and green eyes and….'

He reddened and seemed to hesitate,

'Anyway I'm Tom Harding, I met Louise at the estate agents in the High Street. I've come here to work on the new Football Stadium and was looking for a place to rent. She just happened to be in there waiting for her dad and his girlfriend..'

His voice trailed off and he looked awkward

Cynthia took his outstretched hand and smiled back.

'Pleased to meet you and good luck with the stadium, it's a bit of a bone of contention around here. Louise has been campaigning to get it blocked. The old stadium was surrounded by houses and pubs and brought the whole community together, everyone is afraid that the new stadium will be too expensive and too faraway for the youngsters and will break up the community spirit.'

Tom held up his hand,

'Now that's just where I come in, I've been employed to make sure that doesn't happen.
There's going to be new bars, playgrounds and all sorts of events to make it a place for families as well as football fans and we're going to make the old stadium into a sports ground for the local schools. You can tell Louise not to worry at all.'

Someone knocked against him and he tripped, the contents of his basket spilling on to the floor. Cynthia knelt down to help him pick them up. There was a ready washed salad and a ready-prepared Thai curry.  A lightness came over her, a feeling of excitement and anticipation that she hadn't had for years. It must be a sign. She smiled up at him and pointed to the contents of her trolley.

'What a coincidence, I'm making a Thai curry this evening. Dinner date with my daughter, would you like to come too and then you can tell her yourself?'

The eagerness with which Tom accepted told her she hadn't been wrong, he just seemed perfect for Louise.

Throwing it all down the drain

The pretty assistant carefully wrapped up the velvet and lace dress in tissue paper and then put it in the shop's trademark pink and black bag. She tied on a pink ribbon and handed it to Jilly with a flourish.

'There you are. It's a lovely dress. A bit pricey but excellent quality. Are you going anywhere special?'

Jilly handed the bag to her sister Penny and hunted around in her bag for her card.

'It's my husband's birthday next week and I'm hoping we'll be going out. '
She paused and wrinkled her brow. She lifted her hand up to brush back her hair from her face.
'Are you sure it wasn't too small?'

The assistant was already turning to deal with another customer, she sounded bored when she spoke.

'You can always change it if you're not happy with it.'

'It looked lovely Jilly, it really did. The colour brought out your eyes.'

Penny, five years younger had always been Jilly's  biggest fan.
 Jilly smiled at her gratefully.

'Come on Penny, let me treat you to coffee at the place over the road. It looks new and it says they serve proper Italian coffee.'

Jilly ordered two almond pastries and two lattes. She put the bag with the dress on a chair. It was too special to go on the floor.
The cafe was full and the rich warm aroma of the coffee and the sounds of laughter from the schoolgirls, helped Jilly feel brighter She looked across at the schoolgirls on the sofa and tried to remember what it had felt like to be young and carefree.

Life had seemed so exciting then. She had always been popular and attractive and life had seemed a great adventure.

Jilly had worked as a model and then got a job as an air-hostess and that's where she had met the man of her dreams, Captain Phil Browning. He was the most handsome of the pilots, She couldn't believe it when he asked her out and was soon head over heels in love. It wasn't long before on an overnight stop to Frankfurt he had asked her to marry him. It was in the days before mobile phones and she had been bursting to tell everyone when she got back to Manchester. She couldn't believe her luck. Her one and only love.
Penny had been her bridesmaid and it had been a fairytale wedding.
Jilly had stopped working as a hostess when Michelle and Rachel were born. It didn't seem right for them to have two parents away from home.
 When the girls started school Jilly got a job at the local old people's home in the day centre. It had been Penny's idea. Jilly had such a kind and caring nature and working on the airlines had been praised for her skills in looking after elderly passengers.

The young waitress came over with their order. She placed the lattes and the almond pastries on the table with a flourish.

'Here you are ladies, enjoy.'

Jilly bit into her pastry and watched as the waitress flirted with the young man on the next table. Their laughter drifted across to her bringing some light-hearted relief.

She yearned to go back to when she had felt safe, felt joy and there were no dark clouds hanging heavily over her all the time.

She brushed the crumbs off her jacket and turned to smile at Penny.


'Great idea to come here Penny, thank you so much.'





There had been a time when felt like she had everything, a handsome husband, two lovely daughters, active parents and parents-in-law and a lovely sister.

Then overnight her life changed. She hadn't seen it coming it at all.
Looking back she should have read the signs. Phil was away from home for increasingly long periods. He would ring at the last minute to say he was staying away.
He often brought home bottles of expensive wine from his trips and would describe the colour and flavour in eloquent terms as they chatted in the evenings about what the girls had been doing and their next holiday.
 At first she thought it was just a hobby and even encouraged his new found interest in wine. She'd look out for special offers for the best quality wines and feel proud when he praised her good taste. He called himself a connoisseur and talked about organizing wine tasting sessions.
The first time alarm bells rang was when she found a whole load of empty bottles in the dustbin after a week when he had been flying daily. They weren't just wine bottles, there were vodka bottles too.
 She dismissed her fears. He was a pilot. Rules on drinking were very strict.

It was her mother that made it impossible for her to live in denial any longer.

'I saw Phil in the 'Queen's Head' when I was with my Book club. I thought he was in Amsterdam. He's a handsome man Jilly, but you are also lovely, he's lucky to have you.'

That night Jilly had made a special supper, his favourite Steak and kidney. She opened a bottle of wine and watched in horror as he downed three glasses.

'How was Amsterdam Phil, did you remember to buy the Dutch dolls for Michelle's collection?'

Phil had turned on her, his face a mask of fury.

'Stop pretending. You know I wasn't in Amsterdam. Your interfering mother must have told you. Stupid dolls, of course I didn't get them.'

Jilly took a deep breath and tried to hide her shock.

'Whatever is wrong Phil, we can deal it with together. Is there someone else?'

She waited for his reply with a feeling of dread in her heart that settled itself like an unwelcome guest.

'Oh for goodness sake Jilly, are you blind? I got caught for speeding and they did a breathalyser and it was positive. You know the rules, that was the end of my career. No more flying for me. My life's over.'

 He stood over her, a threatening look on his face,

'Don't you dare tell my parents. It would break their hearts. Don't you dare.'

The anger and the spiteful tone were like a slap in the face. At that moment all Jilly could think of was protecting her daughters from what their father had become. From that moment on her life became a walk on egg shells to keep a balance and limit the damage done to her family.

It was Penny's husband John who managed to persuade Phil to attend the AA meetings. He had a friend that went there and was now in the clear and helping others to overcome their addiction.  The AA meetings and with the doctor's help  some sort of normality returned to their lives. Penny's husband John was a Guitar teacher and he  often went with Phil to the AA meetings  and organized concerts. Phil seemed determined to beat his addiction and got a job at the local airfield working in the office. In her heart though Jilly knew she could never let her guard down .

Jilly drained her latte. Her sister was looking at her in a worried way. She put her hand gently on Jilly's.

'John says that Michelle and Rachel are very gifted musicians. He thinks that Rachel might like the saxophone.'

Penny ate the last piece of almond pastry. She took out her smartphone.

'Look at this video I took when they came round last week. It's brilliant.'

Jilly listened to her daughters playing a duet of 'Let it Be' and pinched her nose to stop the tears.

'It's lovely. Thanks Penny. Do you think it's true though?  We should just let things be? Or should we try and sort things out.?'

Penny squeezed her hand and sighed.

'I suppose it means that we should never act in haste but think things through properly first.'

'You always were the wise one of the two of us Penny, my little sister.' Jilly gently ruffled her sister's curls.

'Who wants to be wise eh? You're the fun one.'

Jilly stood up and turned away to hide her emotions.

'Let's have another cup, it's the best coffee in town.'

When Jilly brought the coffee back she took out a notebook from her bag.

'I'm doing a really interesting project at the day centre.  You know I've got all these schoolgirls doing the ladies nails and helping the men with their crosswords? Well I was listening to the way they open up with the young ones and thought maybe I could record all their life stories. You  know, just ordinary life stories that will make them live on. It's amazing the detail that old people remember from their youth.  One old man told us all about him getting the cane, he looked so mischievous describing his naughty antics. A sweet old lady told us all about working in a laundry and another one about walking to work in bare feet to save her shoes from wearing out.
 I've been taking notes.'

Jilly paused and took a deep breath.

 'Look at this account of Christmas day in the twenties, no heating, wet clothes, a pair of slippers the only present, but they said they were as happy as can be.'

Penny took the notebook and read some of Jilly' notes.

'That is so interesting Jilly. You are like a guardian of their memories, that's a brilliant idea.' She looked straight at her sister, 'Hey, you're crying, what's the matter?'

 Jilly gulped and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve.

'It's Phil. He's drinking again. I found a whole load of bottles stuffed at the bottom of a wardrobe wrapped in old jumpers.'

Penny put her hand on Jilly's arm and squeezed. She didn't know what to say. How could this have happened to her lovely sister and her handsome husband? Her heart ached for them and their two daughters. She knew that John would want to help, at least to make sure that Phil attended the meetings.

Jilly went to pay for the coffees. For a moment here in The Cedar cafè she had felt like a normal woman having coffee with her sister and buying a new dress for her husband's birthday. She tried to ignore the dark hand of fear wrapped round her heart.

 She took out her notebook.

There was one story that she hadn't told Penny.

She hadn't told her sister about Mrs. Davies.

The old lady had looked straight at Jilly as she was recounting her childhood memories. It was as if she could see into Jilly's heart. Mrs.Davies's voice was steady as she told Jilly about her drunken father, how he would slam the front door and lurch up the stairs calling out in anger. She and her sister would cower under their bed. Sometimes they'd hear their mother shout in fright and their brothers yell in pain.  There was no AA in those days. Some of the memories were too personal and painful for Jilly to write down. It was as if Mrs. Davies knew that she was talking to someone who would understand and help her put her painful memories to rest. Jilly had listened to Mrs. Davies with tears streaming down her cheeks. They were both crying as Mrs. Davies told Jilly how her mother had tried to protect her children from their alcoholic violent father. Mrs Davies was shaking so hard that Jilly put her arms round her and held her close. Her voice was muffled through the tears and the cloth of Jilly's jacket.

'There had been no escape for me, the man I married turned out to be just the same,' she'd sobbed. ' They say you marry a man like your father, well I did.'

Jilly paid the bill and dropped some coins into the box for tips. The waitress mouthed a thank you and beamed at her.

Penny came up with the dress shop bag.

'You looked gorgeous in that new dress Jilly.  Come to dinner at our house for Phil's birthday. We'd love that. Wear the dress and wow him. Michelle and Rachel could play him a tune or two. We'll have a good time. We've got to make them happy memories'

Jilly put her arm round her sister.

'We'll do that Penny, thank you, I'll ask Phil this evening.'

The house was quiet as Jilly let herself in. The girls were staying with her mother for the day.  She called out to Phil and when she got no reply went to the bedroom to try on the new dress. It was a bit tight. Maybe she would take it back and  it did show rather too much cleavage. She stared at herself in the mirror trying to see the girl she had been when there was a movement behind her and she saw Phil's face join hers in the mirror. He was scowling, his hair was unkempt and he looked furious.

'Where are you going dressed like that you tramp? I knew it, you've got someone else.'

She backed away but he grabbed her by the hair, yanking her back onto the bed. She screamed in pain as he punched her in the stomach and then slapped her round the face.
She could taste blood as she cried out,

'No! There's nobody else, there's only ever been you.'

She struggled to sit up. He let go of her and she fell forward. She stared at him in horror.

'You had everything and you've thrown it all down the drain.'

Phil slumped onto the bed. He put his head between his knees and his shoulders shook.

He lifted his head up and tried to pull her towards him. His face was wet with tears,

'I'm so sorry Jilly, please forgive me.'

She backed away and put her hand up to her swollen cheek. A huge wave of anger washed over her. She though of Mrs Davies and her miserable life, finding solace only now in her old age. It had been a wake up call for Jilly. She needed to break the cycle, to protect her daughters. She pulled her shoulders back and stood up straight and held Phil's gaze.

' It's not about forgiving Phil. It's about changing your ways. These days there is lots of help and now you're going to go back to the AA. We're going to tell your parents what's going on and we'll get help. '

Phil lowered his head and nodded. He looked calm now and she almost went to hug him, but she held back. She had to be strong for the girls. She was determined to heal her husband from whatever it was that had caused this. She was going to break the cycle. She had Penny and her parents and together they would win, she knew they would.
Tomorrow morning she would go and visit Mrs Davies and take her flowers and the latest copy of the woman's magazine she loved reading. Maybe she could write a piece for the magazine about overcoming alcoholism. The dark cloud above her head shifted, a ray of light appeared and she felt the first stirrings of hope.

Treasures

The Magic Coin

All through his childhood John had been fascinated by stories about finding treasure. Whenever he saw a rainbow he would try to find the crock of gold. His favourite stories were about treasure islands, leprechaun's secret treasure, pirates  He spent a lot of time thinking about the wishes he would make if ever he captured a leprechaun or unearthed some buried treasure in the garden which would include a magic lamp or wand.
His brother Colin was scornful of anything to do with magic. He was six years older than John and tough and strong. He was captain of the Rugby team, the cricket team and when their dad left home took up boxing at the local Leisure centre.

When John was seven years old his best friend Scott emigrated to Australia. John was heartbroken.   Colin found him crying in the garden one day after school. He'd put his arm round John's shoulders and wiped away the tears.

'Come on little fellow, you've still got me. Tell you what, why don't we dig a hole, maybe we could get to Australia, it's right on the other side of the world.'

John couldn't help laughing , he knew you couldn't dig to Australia but he joined in the digging anyway. They dug and dug and he felt much better.
  He 'd just stood up to straighten his back when Colin called out,

'Wow, look what I've found. This must be really valuable. It looks like a magic coin. I bet you could wish for anything you like just by holding on to this.'

He handed it to John,

'Here, you have it, you're the one that believes in all that stuff. Put it in your pocket and wish away. never show it to anyone though or it will lose its power. Just make sure you don't turn me into a pumpkin or something.'

John looked at the coin, he felt his heart beat fast with excitement. That night his mum put it in a saucer of vinegar and in the morning it was really shiny. There was a man's head on one side and a badge on the other.
He put it in his pocket and hugged his brother, he was going to make so many wishes now, everything would be alright

John's favourite wish was that his mother and father would get married again. There would be a big wedding with a huge cake and lots of dancing and laughter. His uncle would make jokes and his mother would smile again. His father would look at her with love in his eyes and they would be a proper family once more.

As the years went by John carried on wishing. He kept the magic coin in his pocket and every day made a wish. While he was walking home from school he'd wish that his mother had made him a nice tea. He wished that his father would visit. He wished that his father would take them on holiday. He wished that he'd pass his driving test and he wished and wished that  Felicity Markham would go out with him.
Then he wished that she'd want to marry him, and he always, always wished that Colin would be safe.

Lately he'd been wishing a lot for Colin that he would come back home from his high risk job working as a diver on the North Sea oil platforms. Colin was an expert diver and lead a team of men. He was always the last one up to the surface. He'd won awards for his bravery. Their mum had them all lined up on the mantlepiece.

Not long after John and Felicity got married they found out they were expecting a baby. John took the magic coin out of his pocket. It had been there all these years bringing him luck. He'd got everything he'd wanted and now he was going to have the chance to create the family he had never had. He wished that he would be a good dad.

He couldn't wait to tell Colin but when he took out his phone to text him there was a message from his mum to ring her straight away.

She was sobbing as she told him that Colin was in a bad way. He'd had an accident saving the life of one of his men.  He had been flown by emergency helicopter from the North Sea and they didn't know if he would make it. She gave him the name of the hospital and told him to go, she would follow as soon as she could.

 John rang Felicity to say what had happened and then took grapes, books, chocolates and some of the saucy mags that he knew his brother liked so much. He took the magic coin out of  his pocket and gripped it hard and wished and wished with all his might.

The hospital car park was full. He waited in the car at the entrance to the car park. He looked down on his lap and was surprised to see his hands clasped tightly together.

He looked up to the sky. 'Please, please, please, let Colin be alright.'

There was a rap on the window.

'If you're waiting for a space mate, I'm on my way out. The red Fiesta over there.'
 John parked the car and grabbed his gifts for Colin and went to find the ward. His phone rang, it was Felicity.

'Just to say I'm thinking of you John, send your brother my love and tell him I'll come next time. It's best that it's just you today.' Her voice changed, excited and joyful she whispered, 'I felt the baby move today, it's a sign. Everything will be alright.'

As he walked in to the ward John had to try hard not to cry at the sight of his brother. He was all bandaged up and his thick curly hair had been cut  so short you could see his scalp. His right leg was in a splint and his arms were limp at his sides. Only when he turned and caught sight of John was there a sign of the handsome man he was. His face lit up with a radiant smile and he struggled to sit up.

'Hey little brother look at you! Bet you've been wishing on your magic coin cos I feel better already.'

He sank back on the pillows and a pretty nurse rushed up to steady him.

Colin winked at her and she giggled.

 John sat down on the chair by the bed.

'You had us worried all right, don't go doing that any more. Here just a few things to keep you going. Felicity asked me to make a list of all the things you need, and she'll come with me tomorrow.'

He popped a grape into Colin's mouth and then took one for himself.

'Felicity's great, you chose well there mate. Tell her I'll be over soon and want one of her special roasts.'

Colin moved his arm and the magazines fell on the floor. The nurse came over to pick them up and when she saw the covers she laughed and carefully placed them next to him. She turned to John,

'You must be the little brother he talks about so much. Nice to meet you. My name's Lisa, you've got a great brother and no need to worry about him he's going to be fine. He had us worried when they brought him in but the doctors say they've never known any one so tough. He's a fighter.'

She paused and put her hand on Colin's shoulder,

'I'm going to look after him, personally.'

She gave Colin a look of such tenderness and admiration that John caught his breath. There was an intensity of feeling there that hinted at a lot more than a professional interest.

Hope and relief flooded through John and he knew just how frightened he had been, how much his brother meant to him, how much he had been praying every day all of his life that his brother would be all right, and it was only now he realised it.
All these years it had been his brother that had made all his wishes come true, it was him. The force of the emotion swept over him and he struggled to keep his voice light.

'You're on to a good thing there Colin, I think she's got the hots for you. I don't know how you do it with your leg stuck up in the air and bandages everywhere.'

Colin gave one of his wicked grins, 'Not everywhere mate, not everywhere.'

Later that evening when the visitors had left and there was a stillness on the ward Lisa came to Colin and sat by his bed. She took his hand in hers and gently squeezed it.
Colin closed his eyes.
He thought of his brother and how all the wishes he had made for him had come true. He was so proud of him. When their dad left he was determined to protect his little brother and his mother and all his energy had gone on them.
John had always excelled at school and university and now had found true love.
 He returned the squeeze to Lisa's hand and then opened his eyes and smiled at her.

It was time to make wishes for himself now.

Hidden Treasure

 The early spring sunshine was warm on Sandra's face. She felt her hair lift up in the gentle breeze and she breathed deeply, revelling in the scent of the blossom.  She gazed on the sight of the daffodils and tulips lit up like beacons in the rays of the sun. What seemed to her the miracle of bulbs that have been dry and brown all winter,  blooming and blossoming in a myriad of colours left her totally in awe. It was the same in Autumn when the leaves turn such stunning shades of gold, russet, brown, yellow, Sandra was in awe of Mother Nature's treasures.
 The sight of a beautiful display of flowers that appear in a pot that had been abandoned in a corner, thinking they were dried up and useless and really should be thrown away, were a constant form of delight and wonder. The sun that moves across the sky with the changing seasons and goes to Australia when it's time to go home, never loses its appeal and fascination. the seas and oceans that don't drop off the Earth in a great whoosh. Somewhere in the depths of her mind she roughly knew the scientific explanations for all these things but they are still everyday miracles for her. So much beauty, so many wonderful things happening every day that blew away all the cobwebs of the negative and painful thoughts that appeared uninvited. The memory of her husband Tom telling her that he was going to leave her, that he'd fallen in love with the new secretary in his company. The anguish when he told her that he was going to be a father again at the age of sixty six.

Sandra looked down at her granddaughter, Isabella, the little hand holding hers, the little face that looked up at her so earnestly. They were in the park and waiting to meet her daughter Emma for tea in the little café.

Isabella stopped and looked in the grass,

'Look nanny, the Fairy Queen has lost some of the petals from her crown. Do you think some of her treasure is near here.'

They had been looking for treasure all afternoon. Isabella was sure that the fairies kept their treasure in the park. She knelt down and picked up some of the blossom that had fallen from the wild cherry tree, and held it out to Sandra on the palm of her hand. Sandra turned to her granddaughter and caught her breath. She looked so pretty, so sweet, just so precious, a real treasure. One of life's treasures to be sure. Some of the blossom had settled in her hair, she looked like a fairy queen herself. She was wearing a pink jacket, pink leggings and a unicorn hairband. Their eyes locked and Isabella rushed towards her and wrapped her arms round Sandra's legs. Her voice was muffled when she spoke,
'I love you nanny.' She looked up, her eyes shining and her cheeks rosy from the fresh air.
' The park is a magic kingdom, there must be lots of fairies her. Do you think they fly on the blackbirds back when we're not looking? Do you think they have nests like the birds or live inside the tree trunks?'

Isabella broke off as she caught sight of her mother and ran with her arms outstretched towards her. Emma knelt down and held her arms out, picked up her little daughter and swung her round.  Sandra stood quite still, her face widening into a broad smile as she took in the sight.
The park wearing its spring time colours, the rays of the sun piercing the fresh green leaves, the children dressed in their bright colours, the blue sky and the happy song of the birds filled her heart with joy.

Emma beckoned her over,

'Come on mum early Mothers day treat for you today. Cream tea on me.'

As she walked across to join them a sentence came into her head, something her own mother used to say. She remembered her mother saying it in a park a bit like this, a long time ago, it must have been springtime because she knew there had been blossom floating around. Her mother had sat down on a bench and taken Sandra on to her knee, she'd spoken into her hair, Sandra remembered her warm breath,

'Never forget that the most wonderful place where miracles happen, where there is real treasure to be found, where shining secrets are kept is your heart.'

Forces for the Good

The moment that Gill's car disappeared from view Pam became aware of the darkness. She'd never been a country girl, brought up in the city and feeling cocooned by all the lights and sounds, she'd only ever liked going on pub walks with a crowd of friends. It had been her friend Gill's idea that a change would help her let go. How she hated those expressions, everyone kept on telling her to move on. How could she? Why should she?

Her heart was broken, shattered and she couldn't imagine it ever healing. She missed her parents so much. They had both seemed perfectly fine, and then, in three months, they were both gone.Her head told her that she was lucky to have had them so long, she knew she was lucky to have had them at all. All her friends had envied her her parents while she was growing up. 'We'd all like a mum and dad like yours Pam!' How many times had she heard that. She'd never taken them for granted though, she'd loved them back with all her heart, they were both what she thought of as 'a force for the good'.
The world seemed so bleak and empty without them. Her husband Paul couldn't cope with her grief. Their daughter had married and left home and he said that they should be enjoying life together, she hadn't listened to him, so heartbroken was she and now it was too late, he seemed a bit too interested in Sheila from the gym.

Gill  had convinced her to look after her house for a month while she was away on business. she'd brought her here and stocked up the fridge and  told her to go and explore the countryside and the local pubs.
 The lane looked so dark and Pam shivered and turned back towards the house. A light flashed on as she neared the front door and she jumped. It was one of those security lights, Gill had told her they were on a timer and could be set off by any movement, even a cat or fox.
She slammed the front door behind her and went to the kitchen switching lights on as she went. She took out her phone but there was no signal. Gill had told her that it would be good for her to have a complete break from any social media.
Pam's daughter Sophie and son-in-law, Karl were going to visit her in the morning.
That was it, she was on her own. She sighed and went to stand outside the back door. The moon was up and it didn't look so dark. She took a few steps into the garden and strained her ears to catch the country sounds. In the distance she could hear some church bells and an owl hooted. She remembered hearing something on the radio about how Tawny Owls never call twit-twoo.  It's like a mating call, one says "twit" and the other answers "twoo". She smiled, maybe she could become a country girl after all.

The house next door was in darkness. She peered through the hedge. She could make out a pond in the moonlight, tall reeds and a willow tree gently moving in the evening breeze. She closed her eyes and breathed in the soft air. Something brushed her cheek and her long hair was swept over her face. She thought she heard someone crying.
Startled she walked quickly back into the house. She locked the door and peered through the window. Her heart beat faster as she saw what looked like a figure standing by the pond. She pulled the curtain and turned on the television changing channels till she found a comedy show. It was one she'd often watched with her mum and dad, they'd giggled away and often dad would pour them out a sherry. Pam felt the tears come and she couldn't stop crying. So many memories, so much love. All gone.

Gill had prepared a tray with a nightcap and a book and some chocolates. Pam felt very tired and took them up to bed. When she switched out the light she peered through the curtains to look at the pond. The moon had gone behind a cloud and all she could see was a faint orange glow on the horizon. She lay in the darkness thinking of her mum and dad, this time last year they had been getting ready to go on holiday together. Paul had found a special offer in a luxury hotel in the new Forest. They'd had a wonderful time. It was early spring and the forest was beautiful, they'd even seen deer walking past their window. Mum and dad had been so happy. She had so many happy memories. She started to cry again but they were somehow happy tears.  She felt like mum and dad were with her, holding her hand.

 The room was suddenly flooded with light. There was a flashing blue light and the wail of an ambulance. She could hear screaming and crying. Pam pulled back the corner of the curtain and looked out. There was nothing there. The lane was in darkness  Pam felt her blood run cold. What should she do? Gill had said the house was empty. She crept to the back bedroom and looked across towards the pond. There were lots of figures huddled round it, then one broke away and ran towards the house. The others followed and then just one was left. Fear clutched her throat as she realized the remaining figure was staring straight at her.  Pam clutched her throat and turned towards the bedroom. A bright light was coming towards her and she cowered as it went past her and towards the pond. The pond was lit up and surrounded by the glowing light. the figure held out its hands towards the light and then seemed to merge with it and it grew even brighter and glowed golden and pink then gradually faded away. Pam stared and breathed hard. She felt tranquil, all fear had left her, a new feeling came over her of hope. Deep in her heart all the happiness and love and joy she had been given stirred and joined together giving her a new found strength. She looked out of the front window again, there was nothing there. All was quiet and still.
Pam shivered and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. All fear had gone. She felt lighter and somehow renewed. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains and she pulled them back. The willow tree was glowing in the first morning glow and the reeds were gleaming like candles.
Her mobile phone buzzed and surprised she picked it up. It was Gill, her voice breathless.

'Oh Pam. Thank god there's a signal. I feel awful. I haven't been able to sleep thinking of you in my house all alone. I know how sensitive you are and how shattered by grief and I couldn't bear to tell you about the house next door and I should have done and I feel awful and I...'

Pam stopped her in mid flow,

'It's ok, whatever it is Gill, it's ok. I mean it wasn't, but it is now. I never wanted to believe in ghosts, ever, but maybe some spirits need other spirits to help them.'

She stopped , it sounded strange to put into words what she'd witnessed.

She heard Gill gasp, ' You know then? You know about the tragedy next door? You know someone drowned in the pond? Oh I'm so sorry I never told you but by the time I found out ,I'd convinced you to go  and part of me just knew that you needed to get away, I'm so sorry Pam.'

Pam' s voice was full of reassurance,

'Nothing to be sorry for Gill, I'm looking forward to our pub walk on Sunday, everything's ok it really is.'

After Pam had showered and dressed and prepared the house for Sophie and Karl, she walked round the garden.
She felt that something healing had happened here she knew. Her parents had been here with her and through her they had helped the tortured soul by the pond. She had always known they were a force for the good and that was what had been needed.

She shivered. Maybe Paul was right, she had been wallowing in grief. She would always miss her parents, the tears would never be far away, but she must be so grateful for all those wonderful memories. It was time to make new ones.  Sophie had talked about starting a family and all Pam had been able to say was that her mum and dad wouldn't be here to share the joy. Maybe all these years Pam had never felt somehow good enough, it was time for her to be a force for the good. She could find out about the tragedy next door and do something positive to heal the pain. Set up a charity in the person's name or something.

She heard a car drive up and ran to greet Sophie and Karl. She stopped and stared as she saw Paul getting out of the back of the car. He held out his arms. They stood and looked at each other. A slow smile crept across her face and then she just couldn't stop beaming as joy flooded over her. She ran towards him and breathed in his familiar smell buried her face in his jacket. His voice was husky when he spoke,

'I've missed you so much Pam.' He squeezed her hard and kissed her hair.
'I miss your mum and dad too you know. Can we try again?'

Pam looked at him, all the joy of the years on her face, he didn't need an answer.

Sophie and Karl came to join them.

  Pam grinned at them, 'I've laid a few ghosts since I've been here, it's time to blow all the cobwebs away with a good pub walk.'

She saw the relief on Sophie's face,

'Welcome back mum, we've got something to tell you when we get to the pub.'

Pam wiped away a tear and looked up at the sky, silently she whispered to the gentle breeze, 'New beginnings eh mum and dad?'

Never Dance Like No-one's Watching

The music was quite deafening and Sophie had to shout into her friend Lisa's ear,

'Let's go over to the buffet table and have something to eat. I'm starving! I haven't eaten anything all day.'

Lisa nodded then grabbed Sophie's arm and pointed to a very good looking tall blond haired man.

'Oh wow take a look at that!! Who's he?!!. He's just so hot. He's talking to that nerd Greg from the lawyer's office next door, you know him don't you? Get me an introduction quick, I feel lucky tonight.'

Sophie laughed and yelled back,

'You're incorrigible.'

 Seeing Greg made Sophie's heart beat fast. He had been her older brother Mike's best friend since Primary School. She'd always had a crush on him. She hadn't seen him for ages. Mike was working in Dubai and Greg had been away at uni and Law school. 

  Lisa poked her in the ribs ,

'Go on Sophe, introduce me.'

Greg came up to them, a huge beam on his face. Sophie felt her stomach flutter.

'Hi Greg, good to see you. This is my friend Lisa.'

Greg grinned at them both and waved his hand in the direction of the tall blond man,

'This is Oscar, we graduated together and now work in the office next to yours.'

 He paused and seemed about to say something else when Oscar broke in,

'May I get you two lovely ladies a drink? A margarita, a mojito? Anything that tickles your fancy.?'

Lisa wriggled her shoulders and leaning towards Oscar simpered,

'Ooh thank you kind sir, that would be lovely. Mojitos, eh Sophe, double.'

Sophie tried not to roll her eyes and turned to Lisa,

'Maybe we should eat something first.'

Oscar was already coming back with the drinks. He winked at them,

'It's full of mint, it's practically like eating a salad, down in one I say, let's get the party started.'

As she sipped the drink, out of the corner of her eye, Sophie saw Greg being beckoned away by a pretty petite dark haired girl who then pulled his head down towards her and whispered something in his ear.

She turned back to Lisa who had already finished her drink and Oscar was handing them two more.

It was really delicious and the smell of mint took her back to summer days at her grandparents' house.

Her grandma would always have pots of mint on the windowsill to make her beloved Pimms on Sundays. 'Her treat', she called it.
Grandpa would always like to say, 'you can learn a lot from mint, always keep it in a vase so it can be contained. Plant it in a flowerbed and it will run amok. It's like some people, mint's best kept on its own.'

In amazement Sophie realized she had already drunk the second Mojito. Lisa and Oscar had disappeared. Greg was still talking to the dark haired girl.

Wow she felt like she was on fire. The drink had turned into volcanic lava inside her, pouring over her head and lighting up every part of her body. All her senses were alive. That's it, she felt alive! She could do anything, she was invincible. The rhythm of the music was thudding through her. Someone, handed her another Mojito, it was Neil, a man from Accounts. She gulped it down and she moved across to the dance floor.  She felt excited, so excited.  She wanted to dance like she'd never danced before. She moved to the centre of the dance floor, the lights twirling and swirling around her. She raised her arms and thrust back her shoulders. Her top buttons came undone, she shimmied and shook and started to lick her lips like Lisa did. She was a ball of fire, of movement and rhythm and life. She was alive!1 She undid her ponytail and shook out her hair, she tossed her head around and her hair shone and glittered in the lights. It smelt of apple blossom from her new shampoo that grandma had given her for her birthday. She glanced up and saw Greg looking at her with a frown on his face. She wanted to smooth his brow, she wanted to wipe away all his cares. She never wanted to see him frown again. She wanted to fill him with light and goodness and joy and laughter and love. Yes she loved him. She always had.

She loved the whole world. Poor world. So much suffering in the world. She must kiss everyone better. She must kiss the world better just like grandad kissed her knees when she fell off her bike. It was her job to save the world, to make it all better by kissing. She licked her lips again and raised her face to the lights.

The music was flooding through her, she was dimly aware of the lyrics and started to sing along. Someone called out, 'Get her a pole', a loud raucous sound followed. She couldn't stop twirling and shimmying. She wriggled and pouted and tossed her hair.  Neil came up to her with a glass of water. Just what she needed, she was so thirsty. She grabbed it and gulped it down. Ugh it tasted disgusting. She stared at Neil, what had he given her? He was smirking and his face was a bit out of focus. He grabbed hold of her and pulled her off the dance floor. She tried to pull away but he was too strong and together they stumbled towards the Emergency exit. Neil pushed the bar and pulled her outside. The door slammed behind them.The icy cold night time air brought her back to her senses and she looked at him in confusion.
Neil took hold of her roughly and tried to force his mouth on hers, she struggled and kicked. She tasted blood. Then she heard the door slam behind her and a fist shot out, punching Neil to the ground. He lay there groaning and she turned to see who had saved her.

It was Greg. He was looking at her in such a way that she fell sobbing into his arms.

What a fool she was, she never could hold her drink.
Greg put his arms round her and hugged her tight. His voice was full of emotion when he spoke,

'Hey it's ok, I'm here, I'll look after you. Let's get you home.'

The word 'home' made her cry even harder.

Neil groaned really loudly and sat up,

'Oh god I'm so sorry, I must have misread the signs, but oh my god, the way she was dancing… what the..?'

He backed away as Greg stepped towards him,

'I'm off mate, no worries.'

Greg lead Sophie to his car and gently pulled the seat belt round her. Their eyes locked.

'I love you Sophie, I always have, dare I hope I have a chance?'

In answer she pulled him towards her and whispered,

'It's always been you, for me, the only one. I've never wanted anyone else.'