The moment that Gill's car disappeared from view Pam became aware of the darkness. She'd never been a country girl, brought up in the city and feeling cocooned by all the lights and sounds, she'd only ever liked going on pub walks with a crowd of friends. It had been her friend Gill's idea that a change would help her let go. How she hated those expressions, everyone kept on telling her to move on. How could she? Why should she?
Her heart was broken, shattered and she couldn't imagine it ever healing. She missed her parents so much. They had both seemed perfectly fine, and then, in three months, they were both gone.Her head told her that she was lucky to have had them so long, she knew she was lucky to have had them at all. All her friends had envied her her parents while she was growing up. 'We'd all like a mum and dad like yours Pam!' How many times had she heard that. She'd never taken them for granted though, she'd loved them back with all her heart, they were both what she thought of as 'a force for the good'.
The world seemed so bleak and empty without them. Her husband Paul couldn't cope with her grief. Their daughter had married and left home and he said that they should be enjoying life together, she hadn't listened to him, so heartbroken was she and now it was too late, he seemed a bit too interested in Sheila from the gym.
Gill had convinced her to look after her house for a month while she was away on business. she'd brought her here and stocked up the fridge and told her to go and explore the countryside and the local pubs.
The lane looked so dark and Pam shivered and turned back towards the house. A light flashed on as she neared the front door and she jumped. It was one of those security lights, Gill had told her they were on a timer and could be set off by any movement, even a cat or fox.
She slammed the front door behind her and went to the kitchen switching lights on as she went. She took out her phone but there was no signal. Gill had told her that it would be good for her to have a complete break from any social media.
Pam's daughter Sophie and son-in-law, Karl were going to visit her in the morning.
That was it, she was on her own. She sighed and went to stand outside the back door. The moon was up and it didn't look so dark. She took a few steps into the garden and strained her ears to catch the country sounds. In the distance she could hear some church bells and an owl hooted. She remembered hearing something on the radio about how Tawny Owls never call twit-twoo. It's like a mating call, one says "twit" and the other answers "twoo". She smiled, maybe she could become a country girl after all.
The house next door was in darkness. She peered through the hedge. She could make out a pond in the moonlight, tall reeds and a willow tree gently moving in the evening breeze. She closed her eyes and breathed in the soft air. Something brushed her cheek and her long hair was swept over her face. She thought she heard someone crying.
Startled she walked quickly back into the house. She locked the door and peered through the window. Her heart beat faster as she saw what looked like a figure standing by the pond. She pulled the curtain and turned on the television changing channels till she found a comedy show. It was one she'd often watched with her mum and dad, they'd giggled away and often dad would pour them out a sherry. Pam felt the tears come and she couldn't stop crying. So many memories, so much love. All gone.
Gill had prepared a tray with a nightcap and a book and some chocolates. Pam felt very tired and took them up to bed. When she switched out the light she peered through the curtains to look at the pond. The moon had gone behind a cloud and all she could see was a faint orange glow on the horizon. She lay in the darkness thinking of her mum and dad, this time last year they had been getting ready to go on holiday together. Paul had found a special offer in a luxury hotel in the new Forest. They'd had a wonderful time. It was early spring and the forest was beautiful, they'd even seen deer walking past their window. Mum and dad had been so happy. She had so many happy memories. She started to cry again but they were somehow happy tears. She felt like mum and dad were with her, holding her hand.
The room was suddenly flooded with light. There was a flashing blue light and the wail of an ambulance. She could hear screaming and crying. Pam pulled back the corner of the curtain and looked out. There was nothing there. The lane was in darkness Pam felt her blood run cold. What should she do? Gill had said the house was empty. She crept to the back bedroom and looked across towards the pond. There were lots of figures huddled round it, then one broke away and ran towards the house. The others followed and then just one was left. Fear clutched her throat as she realized the remaining figure was staring straight at her. Pam clutched her throat and turned towards the bedroom. A bright light was coming towards her and she cowered as it went past her and towards the pond. The pond was lit up and surrounded by the glowing light. the figure held out its hands towards the light and then seemed to merge with it and it grew even brighter and glowed golden and pink then gradually faded away. Pam stared and breathed hard. She felt tranquil, all fear had left her, a new feeling came over her of hope. Deep in her heart all the happiness and love and joy she had been given stirred and joined together giving her a new found strength. She looked out of the front window again, there was nothing there. All was quiet and still.
Pam shivered and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. All fear had gone. She felt lighter and somehow renewed. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains and she pulled them back. The willow tree was glowing in the first morning glow and the reeds were gleaming like candles.
Her mobile phone buzzed and surprised she picked it up. It was Gill, her voice breathless.
'Oh Pam. Thank god there's a signal. I feel awful. I haven't been able to sleep thinking of you in my house all alone. I know how sensitive you are and how shattered by grief and I couldn't bear to tell you about the house next door and I should have done and I feel awful and I...'
Pam stopped her in mid flow,
'It's ok, whatever it is Gill, it's ok. I mean it wasn't, but it is now. I never wanted to believe in ghosts, ever, but maybe some spirits need other spirits to help them.'
She stopped , it sounded strange to put into words what she'd witnessed.
She heard Gill gasp, ' You know then? You know about the tragedy next door? You know someone drowned in the pond? Oh I'm so sorry I never told you but by the time I found out ,I'd convinced you to go and part of me just knew that you needed to get away, I'm so sorry Pam.'
Pam' s voice was full of reassurance,
'Nothing to be sorry for Gill, I'm looking forward to our pub walk on Sunday, everything's ok it really is.'
After Pam had showered and dressed and prepared the house for Sophie and Karl, she walked round the garden.
She felt that something healing had happened here she knew. Her parents had been here with her and through her they had helped the tortured soul by the pond. She had always known they were a force for the good and that was what had been needed.
She shivered. Maybe Paul was right, she had been wallowing in grief. She would always miss her parents, the tears would never be far away, but she must be so grateful for all those wonderful memories. It was time to make new ones. Sophie had talked about starting a family and all Pam had been able to say was that her mum and dad wouldn't be here to share the joy. Maybe all these years Pam had never felt somehow good enough, it was time for her to be a force for the good. She could find out about the tragedy next door and do something positive to heal the pain. Set up a charity in the person's name or something.
She heard a car drive up and ran to greet Sophie and Karl. She stopped and stared as she saw Paul getting out of the back of the car. He held out his arms. They stood and looked at each other. A slow smile crept across her face and then she just couldn't stop beaming as joy flooded over her. She ran towards him and breathed in his familiar smell buried her face in his jacket. His voice was husky when he spoke,
'I've missed you so much Pam.' He squeezed her hard and kissed her hair.
'I miss your mum and dad too you know. Can we try again?'
Pam looked at him, all the joy of the years on her face, he didn't need an answer.
Sophie and Karl came to join them.
Pam grinned at them, 'I've laid a few ghosts since I've been here, it's time to blow all the cobwebs away with a good pub walk.'
She saw the relief on Sophie's face,
'Welcome back mum, we've got something to tell you when we get to the pub.'
Pam wiped away a tear and looked up at the sky, silently she whispered to the gentle breeze, 'New beginnings eh mum and dad?'
