Please grant me a healthy digestion and something to eat

'He's gorgeous, really Barb drop dead gorgeous. He's never been married which makes a change and he's mad about me.There's just one thing though'.

Barbara studied the photograph that her sister Jeanie had put on the table.

'He looks like Jude Law. What's not to like?'

 Jeanie took a deep breath and let out a dramatic sigh.

'He's got bad breath, really bad, sometimes I just can't bare kissing him.'

Barbara couldn't help giggling.

'The Victorians used that as a means of contraception or for warding off unwanted suitors.'

Jeanie burst out laughing. 'Anyway he's coming to dinner at my place this evening so I've got to rush round the supermarket now.'

'Why don't I give you a lasagne? you know my rule, always have one in the freezer. Get some green salad, nice crusty bread and the best red on offer.'

Jeanie hugged her sister.

'Thanks Barbie, I'll ring you tomorrow.'

That evening Barbara told her husband Bill all about her sister's latest conquest.
Bill had one eye on the match and was only half listening. He only heard the bit about the lasagne.

'If you gave her one of your lasagnas he'll be smitten for good. A way to a man's heart is through his stomach and all that. Pity she's met someone I was hoping that she'd get on with George the new chap at work. He's just moved here and she could show him round. I've asked him to come here tomorrow evening is that ok? Maybe you could do your chicken tikka thing.'
Bill lunged towards her.' Come here you.'

Then he grabbed her and kissed her full on the mouth, the football match forgotten.

Afterwards while they were lying close and warm in bed Barbara tracing her finger across the hairs on Bill's chest spoke in a husky whisper.

'I wish my sister could have some of my happiness. She's had such rotten luck with men. An unbroken engagement and now a divorce, she' been so unlucky. Let's hope the Jude law lookalike is right for her.'

Bill turned out the light.
'Well I've got a good feeling about George at work. He's great, treated me to steak pie and ale yesterday.'
Barbara laughed,' Oh Bill you see everything in terms of food.'


The phone rang just as she was leaving for work the next morning. Jeanie sounded like she'd been crying.

'It's terrible Barbie, we had a nice enough evening and ate your lasagne, but he's just rung me and said he was up all night, he said it was my fault for giving him that lasagne. He sounded so angry. He said he can't digest garlic.'

Bill was tucking into a plate of bacon and sausages and turned to look at her, raising one eyebrow with a questioning look on his face.

Barbara looked him in the eye as she spoke to her sister.

'Would you like to come her this evening? I'm making chicken tikka.'



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