Friday 11 November 2022

We all need a Rock to Lean on



    The problem was obvious. Tom scratched his head and glanced sideways at his wife Susie who was glaring at the red car that had parked next to them. Two cars squashed into the only space available for expectant mothers.

    Susie and Tom were heavily laden with shopping bags overflowing with baby paraphernelia. Susie had been in her element in the store but now he sensed her angry tension. He was still wary of Susie's temper, it seemed to come out of nowhere. Anything could trigger it off. An hour before she had been so happy buying everything their daughter Samantha could possibly need for her baby. Now on their return the other car was parked so close they couldn't open the door.

    A beautiful dark skinned woman eased herself out of the driving seat and smiled at them. She was wearing a very short dress stretched over a slight bump. 

    Susie stamped her feet and shouted, 'We were here first, you must move.'

    Tom cringed at the sound of his wife's shrill angry voice and braced himself as she threw down her shopping bags and scowled at him. He knew what that look meant, it was up to him to sort it out. Good old Tom, solid as a rock. He smiled at the woman in what he hoped was a friendly way and stepped forward, 'I'm so sorry we're blocking your way,' he said, as he heard Susie hiss behind him. Then he added 'If you could please move, we can put our shopping away.'

    The woman smiled back and shrugged her shoulders, 'I will, although, may I say, I don't think your wife is pregnant.'

    Tom shivered in fear as Susie blurted out 'Of course I'm not! Not at my age!  But our daughter....' she faltered and Tom could hear doubt along with the anger in her voice.

    Just then a big handsome man appeared and put his arm round the woman. Tom shrank back. He had always been in awe of tall men and this one towered above him. He grabbed Susie's hand and was dismayed when she shook it away and fairly snarled at the man, 'We were here first.'

    Tom held his hands up as though in surrender. He did what he always did when he sensed Susie panic, he sought safety in a cup of tea. 'Please, please, please let's all calm down and could we offer you a drink and sort it out,' he nodded towards the cafè next to the car park.

    To his great surprise, Susie picked up her bags and smiled at the couple who grinned back and they all walked towards the cafè. Tom sighed in relief and followed his wife who was now chatting animatedly to the woman.  His heart ached for Susie. Sometimes it seemed nothing he could do would ever heal her.

    Only he knew the pain that lay within her. He looked up at the man, craning his neck, he tried to sound light and breezy, 'Women eh, nothing a cup of tea won't fix I say.'

    The man chuckled and stuck out his hand, 'Jules, pleased to meet you.'

    Tom felt a warm reassuring sensation as he shook Jules's hand. For the first time ever he felt he wanted to confide in someone. He had always shunned counselling and Susie would never admit she had a problem.

    'My wife wasn't always like this.' he hesitated, 'I felt so lucky that she wanted me, she was the most beautiful girl in town, sweet, gentle and kind. We married very young and were so happy together just the two of us. Susie was on the pill for years and we thought there was plenty of time to start a family, but then..' he stopped, he couldn't believe what he was saying, he'd never spoken to anyone like this before.

    He glanced sideways at Jules and was surprised to see he was smiling, in a reassuring and encouraging way. There was such warmth in that smile that Tom carried on,

    'After some years when we did decide to have a family everything went wrong. Nothing happened for ages and when it did..' he paused again and took a deep breath, 'well eight miscarriages and a stillborn and then severe depression.' he stopped embarrased and ashamed. 'Gosh, I'm so sorry, I am so insensitive, there's your wife pregnant and me telling you horror stories. It's just Susie never got over it and in the end we did manage to have a little girl and we love her so much and Susie was a great mum in spite of her depression and then Samantha, that's our daughter's name, got married and then was told she couldn't have children and then.... she tried all that new stuff, IVF and all sorts of things I don't understand and ...' Tom stopped, he felt drained but also a strange relief. After so many years of not talking about these things to anyone it was all coming out, and to a complete stranger. He didn't even know that he could express such thoughts. For years he had tried so hard to keep their little family together, being the strong one, he had tried so hard to deal with Susie's terrible moods and depression. How strange that someone he had only just met should make him pour out all this pain.

    Jules took Tom's arm and propelled him to the table where Susie was proudly displaying the baby clothes and plonked him down on the chair, called the waitress and ordered the drinks.

    'Let's introduce ourselves properly, I'm Jules and this is my wife Priscilla, and you are Tom and Susie, right?'

    The two women turned to smile and then continued admiring Susie's purchases. 

    Tom took a gulp of his tea and felt himself relax. This lovely couple, his wife's enthusiasm, a whiff of bonfire smoke in the air, the golden October light, hope stirred in his heart. 

    Susie's phone pinged and she exclaimed in delight as she read the message, 'It's Samantha, she's here in town with Anthony. I'll tell her to come here.'

    She caught Tom's eye and lowered her voice, 'Shall I Tom?'

    Tom nodded as he glanced at Jules and Priscilla. He felt safe with them for the first time in years. Maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be fine.

     Just then, Susie shrieked as she caught sight of her daughter weaving her way across the carpark to the cafè. She stood  up, a pink babygro in her hand and waved it around her head. Tom felt a chill as he saw Samantha slow her pace and stare at Priscilla and Jules, confusion on her face.

    'Sam darling come and see what we've bought and look what a lovely couple we have met and ..' Susie stopped, noticing the worried look on her daugheer's face, 'Is everything alright, darling?'

    Samantha slumped into the chair next to her mother, she looked up through her hands at Priscilla and Jules, her voice was soft and full of emotion when she spoke, 'These are my parents, I'm really sorry I haven't told them yet. It's such a sensitive subject for them, so Anthony and I have been trying to find the right moment to explain everything to them gently..'

    Susie screamed, 'What? What haven't you told us, what's wrong?' the she turned to Tom and said 'Do you understand what's going on?'

    Tom put his arm round her and she shook it off, angry and frightened. Jules leaned forward and when he spoke a calm descended on the table.

    'There's nothing wrong, absolutely the opposite, everything is just fine. Priscilla is Samantha's surrogate mother, she's carrying Sam and Anthony's baby.'

    Tom tensed at the sight of his wife, her eyes wild, her hands crunched up. He didn't know how to keep on protecting her from her anguish. Jules moved across to stand by Susie and, to Tom's surprise, she smiled up at Jules, her voice soft and gentle as she spoke, 'What wonderful people you are, what a miracle. I don't know what to say.'

    Samantha took her mother's hand, 'It's ok Mum, nobody should have to go through what you did to have me. Dad and you have come a long way and I am so thankful. We hadn't told you yet, knowing what you went through, but it's going to be alright, you're going to be grandparents!'

    Tears were falling down her face as Susie went to Priscilla and gently touched her bump. 

    Jules and Priscilla smiled at each other and Priscilla stroked Susie's hair, 'This is my second time as a surrogate. We have three lovely children of our own and we are happy to be able to bring happiness to others.' 

    Anthony and Samantha, Priscilla and Jules stood up. They looked at each other aware of the enormity of what was happening and held hands.

    Later, at home Tom made a cup of tea and took it to Susie. He felt shaken but happy. Their daughter was going to be a mum, they were going to be grandparents. A glimmer of hope shone into his heart. Susie stared up at him as he handed her the tea, she was holding a crumpled piece of paper. 'Look Tom, I wrote this when I was a little girl. I desperately wanted a little brother and I wrote this...' She straightened out the paper and read aloud, 'Dear Shopkeeper of babies, please send me a little brother.'

    Tom held her tight as she sobbed. All those years that had battered her body and her mind and now because of his constant love and care she was almost whole again. He sighed and thought to himself if only things had been that easy.


 

 

 

 





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