Bianco e nero - Luce e buio -

 Loud shouts of swearing broke like peals of thunder into the balmy spring air filling it with fear and dread. The aggression and violence of the words turned Deborah to ice. Her blood froze as it always did when she heard angry shouting.

She had been waving goodbye to her daughter and her family.  Sunday lunchtime was like a cocoon for her, enveloping her family in a non- stop marathon of delicious home-cooked food and family games and cartoons.

Every Sunday she tried so hard to recreate her childhood memories. It was a time with which to regenerate her soul and enrich her family with precious memories.

When she was getting married all those years ago her mother had told her that a marriage was made up of many happy mealtimes and sharing food as a family. deborah sighed heavily thinking how hard that had turned out to be.

Nothing was ever right in those early days of her marriage. She fought back the tears remembering her husbands tantrums and moods and criticizing her cooking.

When Deborah was growing up Sunday lunch had always been a cosy bubble of happiness, wuth her grandparents reminiscing about their youth and her father entertaining them with stories  and her family lulled into a safe haven of love and goodwill.

Deborah shook herself peered over the balcony.  There was no sign of her daughter, Anna  and  her partner Claudio and the two little children Leo and Emma.

 A feeling of relief washed over her that the shouting hadn't come from her daughter's little family a deeply embedded fear ever present of history repeating itself  to be replaced by a deep sadness for whoever was in such a state of distress.The shouting continued, anguish and desperation pouring into the dark night. She tensed up. Her heart breaking as though it was yesterday taking her back to the gut twisting hell caused by her husband Fabrizio. Feelings of hurt, fear and devastation coursed through her. 

There was a loud bang as the front door of the apartment next door was slammed shut and the noise of a car revving up. Angry aggressive movements. She ran back inside and closed the door, she realized she was shaking and took some deep breaths to calm her thudding heart. 

 Her Sunday lunch had seemed to her to have gone well but all it had taken was the shouting to remind her to never let down her guard. The noise must have come from next door, they were new neighbours who had moved in just a few weeks ago and it had been in darkness the last few days. They must have gone away  and just returned.

She went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea to have with a slice of  cake but the light-hearted joy of the day was receding. She looked at he.r phone and saw two messages from her daughters. One from her younger daughter Cristina, who had left early to drive back to  Florence where she worked as a nurse and one from Anna, 'we're home mum, thanks for another wonderful Sunday, you're the best'. 

.  After years of trying to keep her family together and always trying to find hope and  light  Deborah never took anything  for granted.

She thought about the new neighbours, maybe she could go and introduce herself .She didn't want to interfere though maybe she would go in the morning.

She took her tea and cake into the sitting room and settled down to watch a film.

The magic of the day had gone however, the ever- present shadow that the angry hurtful behaviour of her husband had thrown over her life.  She had always felt so unworthy of love, useless and lacking in talent.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking on her front door. She crept towards it and looked through the spy glass, she could see a young woman holding a  baby. She took a deep breath and opening the door put a bright smile on her face . The young woman looked as though she had been crying and was jogging the baby up and down. When she spoke it was a whisper and Deborah had to move forward to hear. 

'I'm so sorry to bother you on Sunday but we've just moved in and I haven't got any milk and I just wondered..'

Deborah opened the door wide and beckoned them inside. 'Come in, I've just made some coffee, would you like a cup?' 

The young woman nodded and smiled, 'That would be lovely. By the way I'm Silvia and  we, my partner Massimo and I, have  just got back from my in-laws and all sorts of things have gone wrong. we must have had a power cut because the house is freezing and the food in the fridge has gone off so there's no milk for Sofia here and then Massimo got a call from his boss telling him to go to work tomorrow and then..' she didn't finish the sentence and Deborah touched her gently on the arm, 'Here I'll take the baby and you relax and warm yourself up. If you tell me what to do I'll prepare a bottle and I have lots of food left over so please tell your husband to come and join us. I've been wanting to ask you over since you moved in.'

Silvia gently handed over the  baby and closed her eyes in relief as she took a sip of coffee.

Deborah felt a wave of sadness pass over her. She'd heard the angry shouting and she knew what harm it could do.  Fabrizio's violence had destroyed something precious deep inside her. The first time he hit her had been such a shock, she was stunned and their relationship was never the same again,all the spontaneity was gone and all the things about her that had attracted him to her had shrivelled away.

The baby started to wake up, her little mouth opening in a quest for food and then she opened her eyes and smiled at Deborah, 'Oh she's beautiful Silvia!' She cooed  gently 'Hello little darling,' and offered her the prepared bottle. She looked across at Silvia who had fallen asleep. There was a knock on the door and she gingerly went to open it holding onto Sofia and the bottle,to see Silvia's partner Massimo standing there with a charming smile on his face, 'hello I'm sorry we meet like this but thank you so much for looking after my precious girls.' 

Deborah beckoned in him and settled him in a chair with Sofia She held her finger to her lips and indicated the sleeping Sofia.

'I'm very glad to be able to help. Please stay for supper and make yourself at home.'

While she was busying herself in the kitchen preparing a supper of cold ham and jacket potatoes for her new neighbours she could hear them quietly talking amongst themselves, admiring their baby daughter, whispering words of endearment, she heard some sorrys and some never agains and she sighed deeply. She wished she hadn't heard the shouting, she wished she could get rid of all the pain in her, she wished so hard maybe she could help Silvia, protect her somehow as she had always tried to protect her daughters from their father's wrath.

 Deborah's phone pinged, two messages from her daughters, 'we love you mum, thank you,' from Christina and 'The best day ever from the best mum ever,' from Anna. This was her reward, her victory.

Deborah took the lasagna out of the oven and served them on plates. She handed them round to Silvia and then Massimo who was cradling Sofia.

. She would do all she could to protect them.