Stories from the Cedar cafè, Jilly 3

The pretty assistant carefully wrapped up the velvet and lace dress  in tissue paper and then put it in the shop's trademark pink and black bag. She tied on a pink ribbon and handed it to Jilly with a flourish.

'There you are. It's a lovely dress. Are you going anywhere special?'

Jilly handed the bag to her sister Penny and hunted around in her bag for her card.

'It's my husband's birthday next week and I'm hoping we'll be going out. Are you sure it wasn't too small?'

'You can always change it if you're not happy with it.' the assistant was already turning to the next customer.

'It looked lovely Jilly, it really did. the colour brought out your eyes.' Penny, five years younger had always been Jilly's  biggest fan.
 Jilly smiled at her gratefully.

'Come on Penny, let me treat you to coffee at the place over the road. It looks new and it says they serve proper Italian coffee.'

Jilly ordered two almond pastries and two lattes. She put the bag with the dress on a chair. It was too special to go on the floor.
The cafe was full and the rich warm aroma of the coffee and the sounds of laughter from the schoolgirls, helped Jilly  feel normal. She looked across at the schoolgirls on the sofa and tried to remember what it had felt like to be young and carefree. Life had seemed so exciting then. She had always been popular and attractive and life had seemed a great adventure.

Jilly had worked as a model and then got a job as an air-hostess and that's where she had met the man of her dreams, Captain Phil Browning. He was the most handsome of the pilots and on an overnight stop in Frankfurt he had asked her to marry him. It was in the days before mobile phones and she had been bursting to tell everyone.when she got back to Manchester. She couldn't believe her luck. Penny had been her bridesmaid and it had been a fairytale wedding.
Jilly had stopped working as a hostess when Michelle and Rachel were born. It didn't seem right for them to have two parents away from home. Jilly had got a job at the local old people's home in the day centre.  She felt like she had everything, a handsome husband, two lovely daughters, active parents and parents-in-law and a lovely sister.

Then overnight her life changed. She hadn't foreseen it at all. Looking back she should have read the signs. Phil was away from home for increasingly long periods. He would ring at the last minute to say he was staying away. He would crawl into bed in the middle of the night and if she thought she could detect alcohol on his breath she dismissed it. He was a pilot, she knew his world, no drinking was allowed.

It was her mother that made it impossible for her to live in denial any longer.

'I saw Phil in the 'Queen's Head' when I was with my Book club. I thought he was in Amsterdam. He's a handsome man Jilly, but you are also lovely, he's lucky to have you.'

That night Jilly had made a special supper, his favourite Steak and kidney. She opened a bottle of wine and watched in horror as he downed three glasses.

'How was Amsterdam Phil, did you remember to buy the Dutch dolls for Michelle's collection?'

Phil had turned on her, his face a mask of fury.

'Stop pretending. You know I wasn't in Amsterdam. Your interfering mother must have told you. Stupid dolls, of course I didn't get them.'

Jilly took a deep breath and tried to hide her shock.

'Whatever is wrong Phil, we can deal it with together. Is there someone else?'

She waited for his reply with a feeling of dread in her heart that settled itself like an unwelcome guest.

'Oh for goodness sake Jilly, are you blind? I got caught for speeding and they did a breathalyser and it was positive. You know the rules, that was the end of my career. No more flying for me. My life's over.'

The anger and the spiteful tone were like a slap in the face. At that moment all Jilly could think of was protecting her daughters from what their father had become. From that moment on her life became a walk on egg shells to keep a balance and limit the damage done to her family.

It was Penny's husband John who managed to persuade Phil to attend the AA meetings. He had a friend that went there and was now in the clear and helping Others to overcome their addiction.  The AA meetings and with the doctor's help  some sort of normality returned to their lives. Penny's husband John was a Guitar teacher and he  often went with Phil to the AA meetings  and organized concerts. Phil seemed determined to beat his addiction and got a job at the local airfield working in the office. In her heart though Jilly knew she could never let her guard down again.

'John says that Michelle and Rachel are very gifted musicians. He thinks that Rachel might like the saxophone.' Penny ate the last piece of almond pastry. She took out her smartphone.

'Look at this video I took when they came round last week. It's brilliant.'

Jilly listened to her daughters playing a duet of 'Let it Be' and pinched her nose to stop the tears.

'It's lovely. thanks Penny. Do you think it's true though?  We should just let things be? Or should we try and sort things out.?'

'I suppose it means that we should never act in haste but think things through properly first.'

'You always were the wise one of the two of us Penny, my little sister.' Jilly gently ruffled her sister's curls.

'Who wants to be wise eh? You're the fun one.'

Jilly stood up to hide her emotions.

'Let's have another cup, it's the best coffee in town.'

When Jilly brought the coffee back she took out a notebook from her bag.

'I'm doing a really interesting project at the day centre.  You know I've got all these schoolgirls doing the ladies nails and helping the men with their crosswords? Well I was listening to the way they open up with the young ones and thought maybe I could record all their life stories. You  know, just ordinary life stories that will make them live on. It's amazing the detail that old people remember from their youth.  One old man told us all about him getting the cane, he looked so mischievous describing his naughty antics. A sweet old lady told us all about working in a laundry and another one about walking to work in bare feet to save her shoes from wearing out. I've been taking notes. Look at this account of Christmas day in the twenties, no heating, wet clothes, a pair of slippers the only present, but they said they were as happy as can be.'

Penny took the notebook and read some of Jilly' notes.

'That is so interesting Jilly. You are like a guardian of their memories, that's a brilliant idea.'

It was then that Jilly told her suspicions about Phil and his drinking having started again. She had found the bottles stuffed at the bottom of a wardrobe wrapped in old jumpers.

Penny had put her hand on Jilly's arm and squeezed. She didn't know what to say. How could this have happened to her lovely sister and her handsome husband? Her heart ached for them and their two daughters. She knew that John would want to help, at least to make sure that Phil attended the meetings.

Jilly went to pay for the coffees. For a moment here in The Cedar cafè she had felt like a normal woman having coffee with her sister and buying a new dress for her husband's birthday. Only she knew about the dark hand of fear wrapped round her heart.
 She took out her notebook. She hadn't told her sister about Mrs. Painter.  The old lady had looked straight at Jilly as she was recounting her childhood memories. It was as if she could see into Jilly's heart. She told her about her drunken father who would slam the front door and lurch up the stairs calling out in anger. She and her sister would cower under their bed. Sometimes they'd hear their mother shout in fright and sometimes their brothers yell in pain.  There was no AA in those days. Some of the memories were too personal and painful for Jilly to write down. It was as if Mrs.Painter knew that she was talking to someone who would understand and help her put her painful memories to rest.

Penny came up then with the dress shop bag.

'You looked gorgeous in that new dress Jilly.  Come to dinner at our house for Phil's birthday. We'd love that. Wear the dress and wow him. Michelle and Rachel could play him a tune or two. We'll have a good time. It's all about making happy memories'

Jilly put her arm round her sister.

'I don't know what I'd do without you Penny.'